Congratulations to gwydionn (aka Jonathan Schramm), the first ever winner of the Win a Dollar contest!
Jon's prize, one American dollar, will be mailed to him shortly.

A sincere thank you to everyone who entered the contest. Without you, the Win a Dollar contest would not have been nearly as successful.

To those of you who did not enter - I bet you're kicking yourself now. You could be on easy street like Jon Schramm but instead you were too lazy.

To see the final scores, click here.

Best answers:

Round 1:

1. Tell me why you want to win a dollar.

because I'd be taking your dollar, which would be like me stealing from you. its like beating you up financially.

2. How many dollars can you fit up your bum?

dos:i can fit a whole lot of dollars in my buttock.. holy sweet goddamn you have no idea how many dollars i could fit.. cause one time i fit 10 dollars in my butt and i know i can fit a whole lot more... and when i asked my daddy how much a jet ski cost he said a butt load of money... so then i looked up some jet ski prices on the and it said a jet ski costs like 6000-7,000 dollars..which is i figure i got a big butthole so i could fit in at least 10,000 dollars

3. Let's settle this once and for all - who let the dogs out!?!?

I'm afraid no one had the correct answer to this question... and I can't tell you what the correct answer is because it's a secret

4. Tell me something I don't know!

my dad is getting a sex change

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
China has more English speakers than the United States.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction
More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

cuatro:jfm likes it in the ass from donkeys and the male multiple orgasm is not a myth

Round 2:

1. H to the izz-o, V to the izz-a... what does H.O.V.A. stand for? (Feel free to make up your own answer)

It can only Stand for the House Of Virgin Assholes...These are people who never got it up the ass...

As everybody knows, H.O.V.A. stands for the Harry Oppenheimer Veterans Association, a group put together as a resource for veterans interested in the study of a rare breed of monkeys, the Harry Oppenheimer monkey.
(M M McLar)

To answer this question you have to look at each word very closely.
H: obviously means Ho short for whore as in whores in my head whores in my bed.
O: Now just look at O. OOOOOOOOHHHHHH BRIAN OOHHHHHH BRIAN. Yep, thats right kiddies, O represents orgasm cause i mean what else do we live for... duh SEX! well cept maybe for JFM and a scant other few freakazoids. The oragsm can be further seen in IZZ whcih rhymes with JIZZ which is a product of the ever awesome orgasm.
V: Now V means virulent which roughly means poisonous.
A: This one is easy. The A stands for AMPLE as in ample breasts cause what else do guys think of? T&A.
So if you put all these words together: Ho Orgasm Virulent and Ample you have a clear message of what Jay-Z is trying to say. The orgasm's of whores is very virulent as are their ample breasts. Because if you F a whore there-by causeing an orgasm you will get poisoned, meaning you can get aids or some other gross STD. So dont go F'n whores ya bitch and resist their ample boobies.... RESIST. you dont want no scratchy crotch

2. How has Gary Coleman affected your life?

gary coleman! he has affected my life by staying out of it

Gary Coleman, one of the finest actors in America, has influnced my life in so many ways. He showed me through his countless movies like..................hmmm there are so many I can't even write them all, that short people really are cool. And that some day when I am old and I have shrank about 5 inches I too can have a lucrative career as a short black actor.

3. If you win the Win a Dollar contest, how will you deal with your instant fame, and with the extreme jealousy that people will now have of you?

I'd moon people. It wouldn't solve anything, but screw you all, I have a dollar.

I will handle it justly, but if anyone really pisses me off, I'll trick them into liking me and ask them to have a sleepover at my house. Then, when they get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I will put spikes on the toilet seat. If they pee or if they use the downstaris bathroom, I'll push them down the stairs, put on a really scary mask, then run to the bottom of the stairs, pee on them, and chant:
I won the dollar,
I won the dollar.
Pee on your collar!
'Cause I won the dollar!
(M M McLar)

4. Word association: What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the following five words?

- cow
(almost everyone)

- apotropaic
NO ONE GOT THIS ONE... buy a dictionary people! Apotropaic means "intended to ward off evil"

- dollar
the prize for the best contest ever created

- antenna
(M M McLar)

- the
conjunction junction...what's ur function
hooking up words and making them sound right

5. Problem: a girl on my floor keeps bringing her boyfriend into the boys' bathroom on our floor and having sex in the shower stall. Propose a solution.

Take the dollar you are supposed to give the winner of this contest and buy the girl a "do not disturb" sign and tell her to stick in on her door and then tell her that only sluts do it in the men's bathroom.

No sex in the stall!
No sex in the stall!
You can do it in the hall,
But no sex in the stall!
I'm gonna kill your boyfriend!
I'm gonna kill your boyfriend!
I'm gonna rip his legs off and then we'll see who has a lot of sex you fucking whore!
(M M McLar)

Worst Answers:

seriously, just give me the dollar
thats my entry
im going to hurt you if you dont give it to me